Children don’t come into the world with titles, statuses, and expectations. They arrive curious, free, and open. They view the world without prejudice, ask questions that adults no longer seek answers to, and feel things we have often forgotten how to feel. Perhaps this is exactly why the most important life lessons sometimes don’t come from books, diplomas, or years of experience, but from the gaze of a child who reminds us daily of what truly matters in life.
Children are often expected to grow up as quickly as possible, to become successful, well-adjusted, and ready for the world. We adults rarely pause to ask ourselves what we can actually learn from them. Have we forgotten how to listen? Have we stopped observing? In our desire to prepare them for life, have we sometimes forgotten to simply be there for them, fully present in the moment?
“It is important to empower children, to show them that they are worthy of our attention, that they can freely be who they are, and that they matter to us. Children learn through us as role models. If we want them to respect us, we must also respect them. If we want them to listen to us, we must also listen to them.”
The search for answers to these very questions has shaped the professional and personal journey of Vesna Šarić. An early childhood educator with over 35 years of experience and now a kindergarten principal, she found her calling while still a young girl. Through thousands of children’s smiles, tears, questions, mistakes, and small victories, she learned that children aren’t individuals to be molded to our expectations, but human beings to be understood.
Over the years, her perspective on upbringing evolved into a simple yet powerful philosophy: behind most human fears—whether in children or adults—lies the same basic need: the desire to be seen, accepted, and loved. Throughout her career, she has come to know children through their “hundred languages”—through play, movement, drawing, questions, silence, and imagination. She taught them that a mistake is not a failure, but a stepping stone to a solution. That there is always more than one answer. That they are worthy even when they aren’t the best, the first, or the loudest.
And that is exactly why she is our Human Voice — the voice of little people, of childhood, and of support for parents. A woman who has dedicated her life to helping children regain confidence in their own abilities, while showing adults that sometimes the smallest among us can teach us the greatest life truths.
I am a human being. All my roles, my profession, and what I do are just parts of me, layers of my life’s journey. I have been an early childhood educator for 35 years, and for the last two years, I’ve been working as a kindergarten principal.
My professional path didn’t begin as a career choice, but rather as an inner certainty that I wanted to work with children. With children, there are no roles or hiding, and it was their directness and authenticity that drew me in long ago, during my early high school years. When I was 13, I got a baby brother. At that age, I was quite resistant to the idea of having a little brother. However, when he was born, through him I realized my deep inner need to work with young children. He helped me discover that within myself.
Because deep down I felt that through this calling and the talent I sensed within me, I could help not only children, but also myself. Through them, I became more creative, spontaneous, and authentic. Everything I taught them, I was simultaneously strengthening within myself.
“Adults are children who also need someone to guide them with warmth and firmness. They, too, have their fears, insecurities, and anxieties. Behind their behavior lies the exact same thing as behind children’s. Most often, insecurity hides behind withdrawal, and a certain sadness behind anger. Everything is actually the same.”
Over these 35 years, I’ve come to know them as beings who come into the world completely pure. Early in my professional development, I discovered the Italian psychologist Loris Malaguzzi, who had a beautiful saying: children have a hundred languages, but we steal ninety-nine of them and force them to speak only one. That thought profoundly influenced me. I was also shaped by colleagues who looked beneath the surface, who didn’t just see a child’s behavior, but what lay behind it. That defined my approach to working with children. I have always tried to give children their languages back. Children speak through movement, play, what they like and dislike, and their artistic expression. These were the very pathways through which I got to know and discover them.
At one point, I realized that I was spending a large part of my job educating other teachers. I became aware that my work with children had evolved into a new, mentoring role. I felt the need to try and help a kindergarten through the role of a principal—to work not just with the kids, but with the adults who care for them. That was a completely new experience for me. What I discovered after two years in that role is that everything is actually the same. Adults are just children who also need warm and firm guidance. They too have their fears, insecurities, and anxieties. The same things lie behind their behavior as behind the behavior of children. Most often, behind withdrawal hides insecurity, and behind anger lies some sadness. It’s all really the same.
I think the most important thing is to empower children. In those early years, especially in institutions, it’s crucial to show them that they are worthy of our attention and that they are safe. Not just safe in terms of protection, but safe to be who they are and to know that they matter to us. Children learn through us as role models. There’s a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. I’ve always viewed the kindergarten as one such village—a place where a child has the opportunity to discover themselves through different people. The way we see the child is the way they begin to see themselves. When we understand them and look at them from a different perspective, my experience shows that the child changes. I remember a boy whom everyone considered extremely disobedient and difficult. I saw something else in him—great perseverance, persistence, creativity, and a wealth of ideas. When I began to observe his behavior through the lens of those strengths, and gave him roles where he felt secure, his behavior became less “difficult” and he became more cooperative. My entire career with children has taught me one vital lesson: we cannot raise empathetic children if we ourselves are not empathetic. When a child falls in the park and another approaches to ask, “Are you okay?”, they don’t do it because we taught them the words, but because they have experienced it themselves. My experience tells me that we must be role models for children. If we want them to respect us, we must respect them. If we want them to listen to us, we must listen to them. Ultimately, the most important thing is to truly listen to children.
I think what today’s world lacks most is the understanding that there is another human being on the other side. That’s the foundational level. We are all human beings with similar needs—the need for someone to understand us, get to know us, and accept us exactly as we are. Behind every behavior is a need. Once we try to understand that need, everything becomes much simpler. Children often ask the question: “Why?” That very question inspired me to delve deeper into what truly matters in life. When children start asking why, they are actually starting to think for themselves. Through that questioning, I always taught them to seek multiple possible solutions. It was important to me that they understand there is always a solution. Not just one, but several. And that they can choose the one that aligns with who they are. That is how they develop responsibility, self-assurance, and the courage not to fear life or mistakes.
Children tell us every day that they know how, they are capable, and they want to do things, even when it might not be obvious at first glance. Through their behavior, they show that they want to do something their own way. We very often offer or impose our own solutions on them. We force them to think, act, and solve problems in a way that is familiar to us. I think it is incredibly important to allow children to find their own solutions, while we stand by as support. To be there when they need us and to let them be little explorers.
To me, failure is actually a step toward a solution. Every time a child makes a mistake or doesn’t succeed on the first try, we should applaud them. Children react intensely when something doesn’t work out, but that passes quickly. After that, they try again. I believe our role as adults is to show them that it’s not a problem when something doesn’t turn out as expected. You simply try again. In fact, I think the most important thing children need to learn in preschool is that mistakes are an integral part of life and that they are welcome.
When children encounter behaviors from their peers that make them uncomfortable, I always taught them that they have several options. I would tell them: “You can say stop, don’t do that to me.” You can tell your friend: “I don’t like this, please don’t do it.” You can come to me and tell me what someone is doing to you. Or you can simply decide you don’t like it and walk away. That’s how children learn to choose. They learn to listen to themselves, to recognize what works for them and what doesn’t. They learn not to accept things that aren’t good for them.
Full interview
If I had to sum it up in one sentence, I would tell parents: whatever you want to say to your child, say it in three words. Speak briefly, and listen a lot. Observe your children and try to understand from their behavior what they actually need. And most importantly—be there. Let them feel that they matter to you. When you are with them, truly be with them. Children aren’t looking for a perfect parent. They are looking for a present parent. A parent who is there when they need them.
I think what today’s parents need most is understanding. It’s not easy for them to live at this pace. It’s not easy raising children who are growing up in a completely different world than the generations before them. Thirty-five years ago, children primarily wanted new knowledge. We focused heavily on teaching, methodology, and cognitive development. Today, children are exposed to an overwhelming amount of information. What they need most right now is emotional security. They need someone to help them sort all that information into their own mental and emotional drawers. I would tell parents that they don’t have to be perfect. It is enough for them to just be who they are. Just as every child is unique, so is every parent. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay not to have all the answers. I wouldn’t advise them to listen to every piece of advice out there. Rather, they should listen to themselves. Let them observe their interaction with their child and recognize what works and what doesn’t. I think parents need to be more relaxed, more authentic, and try to react calmly. That is what I wish for them the most.
It is very important to know which developmental stage a child is in and what chronological age they are passing through. This is crucial precisely because of that understanding of the child we talked about. When a child enters kindergarten in their second year and has intense reactions, we know that is natural. The most important thing then is for us to remain calm. It will be okay, it will pass. In their third year, a child begins to socialize. At that stage, their play is still parallel play—playing next to other children, not necessarily with them. Parents sometimes worry, but there is no reason to. We know the phase will come when they’ll crave the company of peers and start building relationships. It often happens in the fourth year that a child tells their parents: “Nobody wants to play with me.” There is a huge trap there for parents to try to solve the problem for the child. It is much more important to trust the educators, who know how to guide the child through such situations. As educators, we first let the child find their own way. Sometimes I felt like a traffic controller, just gently nudging them toward contact with other kids. If it wasn’t happening spontaneously, I would offer suggestions: you can walk over, you can bring a toy, you can invite them to play. Sometimes I would also create situations that encouraged connection. For example, we would organize an imaginary bus ride and invite all the children to participate together. That’s how I created an environment where interaction would happen naturally. In their fifth year, children start fighting for their place in the group. Everyone wants to be first; everyone wants to be the leader. It’s a phase of kindergarten expansion. This is actually the most fertile ground for everything we’ve built with them so far and what we are yet to build. And then comes the sixth year, the most turbulent preschool year. Children enter what we often call “mini puberty.” They become competitive and compare themselves to each other. If we haven’t previously built a sense that everyone has their place in the group, that everyone is good at something, and that everyone can have an important role, we can face a lot of challenges then. But if we have taught them that, the sixth year becomes a year of great friendship, connection, and unity.
I have always recognized children’s talents through their play. Through what draws them in, through the way they engage with a certain topic or area. I observed what naturally pulled them, what they enjoyed most, where they were the most spontaneous and relaxed. That was always a sign to me that their talent was hiding right there. Once I recognized it, I tried to further nurture it. I gave them roles, tasks, and experiences through which they could further develop what they love and what they are good at.
I hope they take away from me, from all of us, and from the kindergarten in general, the feeling that they are valuable. That they are capable of more than they think. That they are safe to be who they are. When they leave kindergarten, the most important thing to me is that they leave with a sense of self-worth. I think that’s the most important thing—that they know their worth and that they are highly capable. That they feel secure when they are truly being themselves. I hope the kindergarten provided them with enough experiences to feel success and discover their own strengths.
When a child comes to kindergarten for the first time, parents are often full of questions, fears, and distrust. They sometimes tell me: “If only I could be a little bird on the window so I could see what’s going on.” My message is always the same: don’t worry, stay calm. When you are calm, the child is calm too. The first thing we do in kindergarten is establish a relationship with the child. We call it a socio-emotional bond. Once we connect with the child and gain their trust, then we can build everything else. Only then do we get to know the child, discover their talents, empower them, and create experiences through which they learn. In addition to the social aspect, it is important for us to teach children how to relate to other people in a humane way. How to develop empathy, how to be self-confident, and how to be considerate of the people around them. It is equally important that, as an institution, we provide children with the experience of success. I deeply believe that it is precisely from these small everyday successes that self-confidence and readiness for what awaits them in school are born.
When children are confident in themselves, they can do anything. They can ask questions, solve problems, form relationships with other children, and explore the world around them. We give them the tools to achieve that. One part of our job is to give them concrete tools, the second is to provide a sense of security, and the third is to be an example. I think all the adults a child comes into contact with are life models. They show them how to cooperate, how to solve problems, how to have fun, how to travel, how to behave in traffic, how to say “no,” and how to say “yes.”
My Human Voice is very simple: Listen to children. Look at them. Truly see them. Try to understand another one of their languages, not just the verbal one. Read their behavior, observe their actions, and ask them what they think and feel. Children love being asked.
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“When children are confident, they can do anything. They can ask questions, solve problems, form relationships with other children, and explore the world around them. Our job is to provide them with the concrete tools to achieve this, offer them a sense of security, and lead by example. Every adult a child comes into contact with is a role model for life. They show them how to cooperate, how to solve problems, how to have fun, travel, behave in traffic, and how to say ‘no’ and how to say ‘yes’.”